Dear Friend,

Psalm 41 records David's grief over the shocking betrayal of his best friend, Ahithophel. Sadly, he recalls his great loss with poignant language.

"Yea, mine own familiar friend" (v. 9), oh, how close they were. Each was "familiar" with the other's life, family, faith, and calling. "In whom I trusted" (v. 9) reveals David confided in Ahithophel, freely and often sharing his deepest personal secrets, sweetest biblical insights, and inspired songs (psalms). The thought of such a completely "trusted" friend leaving his side, much less, taking sides with Absalom against him in a deadly coup, never once entered David's mind.

Yet just this had happened, and David was reeling from the impact of this shocking turn. "Who did eat of my bread" (v. 9) tells us they shared many a quiet dinner together discussing matters of faith and state. "Hath lifted up his heel against me" (v. 9), ah, this reveals what wounded David so deeply. Ahithophel had taken sides against David to, as it were, lift his heel to stomp on David when he was down, as callously as if the two had never met, or as if David was a despised Philistine enemy! This idiom further implies he had been totally deceptive about his defection, never giving David a hint of it till it happened. This "punch" landed squarely on David's jaw and almost knocked him out - out of his faith, out of his calling, out of his mind, out of his will to continue living. Almost!

Thankfully, God's hand held David up in that desperate hour: "Thou upholdest me in mine integrity" (v. 12). But this supernatural divine preservation was not automatic. Overcoming grace was imparted to David as he quietly set his heart to not allow Ahithophel's abandonment of integrity to make him abandon his own integrity. So, God sustained him when his best friend betrayed him. But that's not all God did.

"Thou . . . settest me before thy face" (v. 12), or "You have brought me into your presence" (NLT). When David chose to stay faithful amid the agonizing betrayal of his best friend, lo and behold, he found a new friend: the Lord! As Ahithophel's presence departed David's life, God's presence entered in a distinctly new, more powerful dimension. Suddenly, David was not only sustained but elevated to an entirely new life in which he daily experienced the sweet, reviving, empowering presence of God as never before. Amazingly, God had turned his curse into a blessing.

And this new blessing, and deeper, divine friendship, would never be taken from him. This marvelous, mystical, manifest intimacy with God would last "forever" (v. 12)! So, let's sum up what has happened to the man of God.

David lost his best friend, but found a better One. The Friend of friends. The Friend who sticks closer than a brother. The consummately loyal Friend, who by His intensely faithful nature is incapable of betrayal. The Friend who promised, as the New Testament would later record, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5) and "I am with thee always" (Matthew 28:20, NKJV), "each and every day until the end of the age" (ISV). So, God turned David's bitter loss into a sweet gain.

As with Job, God personally, sovereignly authorized the evil that touched David's life, but only to use Ahithophel's treachery to drive David closer to Him. To force him to lean harder, linger longer, pray more often, and worship with a more complete surrender. To lead David to be immersed in His divine Presence as never before. Paradoxically, David's lowest experience led him to find life's highest good. There he reveled in the "fullness of joy" and unanticipated "pleasures for evermore." David described his remarkable find in a psalm: "In thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore" (Psalm 16:11). So, paradoxically, incredibly, yet truly, God turned David's fullness of grief into the fullness of joy. Here is divine medicine for wounded, grieving Christians.

Has a good friend turned on you lately? Or perhaps years ago? Was it your best friend? One of whom you never had the slightest concern that he (or she) would walk away from you, much less take sides against you in a terrible conflict? Have you taken a terrible punch or been deeply wounded? Are you reeling? Then this word is for you.

Misery loves company - so both may soak in self-pity and feel good about feeling so bad! But wounded love also loves company - good, godly, spiritually minded company, so one may heal, recover, and rise again to greater things, as David prayed, "Raise me up" (v. 10)! So, be comforted with this medicine. David knows your pain; this psalm proves that. And David's Lord, Jesus, knows it, too; Judas' betrayal proves that.

But beware of self-pity. It will turn your wound into gangrene and your difficulty into your demise. Remember, many other faithful disciples of Christ are also experiencing betrayal, even if you can't see one fellow sufferer at the moment. "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience" (1 Corinthians 10:13, NLT). And God never lets the stress be greater than you can bear - if you just abide very close to Him: "God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand . . . He will show you a way out so that you can endure" (10:13, NLT).

I know, too, what you're dealing with. Over the last 40 years, I've experienced abandonment by my closest friend twice and deep, bitter betrayal once, and each experience was more painful than the one before it. But here's the miracle: I'm not bitter at all about any of these sufferings. I understand my friends' treacheries had a spiritual cause. Sin moved them and then Satan used them. "We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but against . . . spiritual wickedness [or wicked spirits]" (Ephesians 6:12). And that's not all.

Now I see God's hand in it all. As Joseph said, they meant it for evil, but God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20). Jesus was driving me from one best friend, and another, and another, to the best Friend, Himself! I forgave my former friends and went on with my new Friend. And He's never forsaken, disappointed, or turned against me. (And He's had plenty of opportunities to do so!)

Today, by God's amazing grace, I enjoy the wondrous presence of God on a daily basis. The new and living way is new and full of life every morning. Am I boasting? Yes, absolutely! But on my Friend, not me. On His medicine, not my remedies. On His healing, not my balms. And I relate this only to encourage you. I want you to take David's inspired advice, as I have. And now's the time.

As you look back, the way to reconciliation with your former unfaithful friend, for the moment, may be closed. With iron bars and gates, perhaps. So, don't look back when God has providentially closed the door. Look forward! Your new best Friend awaits. The moment you forgive, move on, and begin steadily, positively, hungrily seeking His presence and Word, your pain will cease, your wound will close, and your healing will begin.

And if you persist in your newly enhanced, ever deeper, ever closer, ever sweeter fellowship with your new Friend, you will never feel the old pain again. Ever! You will never even think of your "Ahithophel" - except when you take time, now thoroughly healed, to pray for him (or her), as Job prayed for his friends-turned-enemies, that Christ may lead your Ahithophel to the truth, to confession, to forgiveness, and restoration.

And when Job prayed for his "friends," God turned his captivity (Job 42:10). I wonder what He will do for you when you pray for yours?

Praying for my friends,

Greg Hinnant
Greg Hinnant Ministries